Option 2

I look forward to writing these blogs. I think about it throughout the day. What I will discuss. What will stick out most that happened throughout the day.

Today, I discussed the blog with my friends. They said it’s refreshing to read about someone’s journey, while they are still in it. At least that’s what I took from the conversation.

I told Eliz yesterday, this is the good old days we’ll look back on. A lot of things are changing in our lives. It’s extremely important to stop and appreciate it.

I watched The Office series and on the last episode one character says, “I wish you know when you’re in the good old days before they’re gone.”, or something along those lines.  It’s a powerful quote. I’m a futuristic person. I think about my future and what I want out of life. Sometimes this can be a hindrance.

Oftentimes, I forget to appreciate the daily grind. J. Cole is my favourite artist and he said, “There’s beauty in the struggle.”

I’m starting to understand these quotes more clearly.

The other night, I placed my first large order for beard oil to sell on Amazon and my online store, Invictus Beard. I felt an incredible rush when I clicked the button to purchase the order.

I don’t know what the outcome will be but it sure felt good to click that button. It felt good to know that I am taking this chance on myself. It felt good to know that I am ready to bet on me.

I took a snapshot of the purchase order. Not for my business records but for my own personal reasons. I will look back on that order. I’ll remember the feelings that rushed through me before I clicked ‘Purchase’.

As I write this I wonder, what about my personal life? Should I be taking more ‘snapshots’ of events in my personal life?

So many great moments take place each day. I share laughs with my loved ones and I don’t have a snapshot button on my brain. I wish I can take those snapshots like we can on our phones.

This is where I think notetaking is so important. I already journal in the mornings. Nothing major, just 5-10 minutes. I haven’t read anything I’ve written yet. I write to write. Let some of my emotions go on to the paper and out of my brain.

I want to start taking notes at night. Small things that happened that day. A small memoir. Memories I can look back on. It takes commitment to do it. I haven’t started it yet. Procrastinating.

As hard as I try not to, I always find myself procrastinating in something in my life. For a long time, it was my own business. I’ve started something now, but there are so many things to do still. It’s a daily struggle to make sure I complete the important tasks. I enjoy doing the tasks. The struggle that I don’t enjoy is the procrastination. The conversation I have with myself. The little voice that says, “It’s okay, do it tomorrow.”

He still wins some battles. For instance, this morning I woke up at 6:30. I had plans to go to the gym but the little voice said, “It’s okay, you can go later.” I didn’t go to the gym today.

These are the internal battles that I lose each day. The goal is to win more than I lose. Continually making progress. Slowly getting better.

It’s been 25 years of listening to the little voice telling me “It’s okay, do it later.” I won some battles. I lost some battles. The main thing is, I was unaware there was a battle going on.

I know now that I must win that battle first. I must be strong enough to tell myself that I shouldn’t wait. I must overcome that inner voice. The inner doubter.

As it is with anything else, it takes practice. I’m not a master at quieting the voice yet. I feel myself getting better. I listen more intently to the inner voice. I try to differentiate the voice. If I know the doubter is simply one part of my brain, the weak part, I can suppress it. Better yet, I can rid myself of it. I can overcome it.

I’m working on it.

Meditation has helped me immensely when it comes to this internal battle. It’s incredible to realize how fast your brain is going. All you need to do, to realize it is, sit back and listen. I use the Headspace app to meditate. I’m grateful for it.

We all should work to be happy. It can’t just happen. It doesn’t simply happen. You can get rich. You can be surrounded by people. You can have everything you thought you wanted, but you still have to work every day to be happy.

Until I began meditating I didn’t realize where my emotions were coming from. I’m an emotional person. I show my emotions. You don’t have to guess with me.

The problem was I let my emotions consume me. Make me do things I wouldn’t have with a clear mind. I couldn’t differentiate logic and emotions. I think sometimes that’s a great thing. Sometimes, not so much. Point is, now I see my emotions. I stop and ask why I may be feeling this way.

I used to get angry over minute situations. I let it consume me. Take over my entire day. It could’ve just been that I was hungry in that moment and got upset. My stubbornness wouldn’t allow me to let go of it. I felt like I needed to be right about getting mad at the situation. Why?

Lately, I’ve been asking myself, “Am I going to remember this a year from now?” If the answer is no, then I don’t need to be letting it affect my day. I don’t need it to affect me for another minute.

This doesn’t mean I don’t get upset. It doesn’t mean I don’t get mad at little things. The difference now is I realize it. I let it go. I apologize. A lot.

Big changes are happening in my life. The way I see it, I have two ways that I can go through this journey.

One way is to stress about it. Have anxiety about all the tasks that need to be completed. Worry about small details. Always be thinking about the next step. The next move.

Alternatively, the second option, enjoy it.

Enjoy those moments of facing a problem and trying to work on a solution. Appreciate completing small tasks. Understand that it’s not going to happen all at once. Understand that these are those moments I’ll look back on when I’m old and gray. Understand that these are the “Good old days.”

I choose option two.

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Author: Mehmet Akcagliyan

I am the Master of my Fate. I am the Captain of my Soul.

3 thoughts on “Option 2”

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