26th Birthday

It feels like a long time since I’ve written a post. I’ve been meaning to. I keep thinking about doing it. I’ve been busy. In other words, I’ve been procrastinating. I’m happy I’m doing it now.

To be honest some challenges I’ve faced in the past few weeks have been occupying most of my mind. At least it was. I’m moving past it. In one of my latest posts I mentioned cutting out toxic people. I’ve done it. Relatives. People that I grew up alongside. It’s not easy to just cut them out and then to keep moving as if nothing changed. It needed to be done. As I said, I don’t have room for negative people. I’m on my up. I had to offload unnecessary luggage.

Anyway.

Let’s talk about some positive.

I’m 26 now.

I don’t think I’ve written since my birthday a few days ago. I’ve had a great week. The night before my birthday I spent it with my best friends. We went to a Raptors game. Lost by 30 and still had a great time. That’s what happens when I’m in the company of my friends. I had an opportunity to talk to a few of them about the blog. What their thoughts are. It was really cool to hear their views. One said it seems I’ve turned over a new leaf in my life.

He worded it perfectly. I think he worded it that way. I was fairly buzzed. In any case, that’s what I took from it. I feel as if I have turned over a new leaf. I feel like I’ve shed my old skin as if I’m a snake. I’ve begun to change my attitude. I’m working hard to be happy. Being proactive to be happy. I’ll get into an argument or have a disagreement. I’ll make sure to calm down and explain my point of view. I always did this in the past but it took me a lot longer. I realize now that I won’t care about the fight a year from now. I work to fix it.

For my birthday, my sister bought me a book. It’s about mindfulness and meditation. I haven’t started it yet. I’m still reading Tao Te Ching. It’s a great gift. I read. I meditate. She thought it would be a great idea if I read a book about meditation. She’s right. It’s such a great feeling to have a sister that I get along with. Especially after realizing that is not the case in some families. Sibling rivalry is a damaging situation. I’ve been blessed with an amazing sister. After what we’ve gone through in the past few weeks, I feel a new level of appreciation for her.

Eliz bought me a tent. Basically, she’s saying if I screw things up that’s where I’ll end up. I’m kidding, she didn’t say that. Maybe she thought it.

She gets it. She understands what I want to do. I want to travel. This doesn’t always have to be extravagant hotels. I want to take Niko to different parks across Ontario. Across Canada. Across North America. We’ll need a place to sleep. Naturally, she bought a tent. I’ve never been camping with my parents. We didn’t have a chance to. I’m looking forward to taking them camping with us. I know what the tent represents. It represents all the adventures we’ll experience. It represents the memories we’ll create. The stories we’ll share. I can’t wait to start using it.
My mom and dad bought me a carry on. They get it. They know what I’m trying to accomplish. They understand my aspirations to travel. They figure I’ll need a carry on. They’re right. It’s another great present.

My father-in-law wrote me an affectionate card. I can feel the love through his words. I didn’t need anything else from him. The card was enough. It meant a lot to me to read those words from him.

My mother-in-law just came back from England. She brought back a humbling scotch. She gets it too. I want to go camping and she knows how much I’ll enjoy the scotch on those nights I’ll stare up at the stars.

It’s a great feeling to be surrounded by all this love. All this positivity. I’m happy they understand my goals. Reality is, it’s easy for them to understand because I understand my goals now.

Few years ago, I didn’t know what I wanted. Now I know exactly what I want. Unsurprisingly, my family knows what I want.

I mentioned that the past few weeks hasn’t been easy. I’ve stopped waking up for the gym. I keep telling myself it’s because of the time change. Reality is, that happened over a week ago. Everyone else has adjusted. It’s just an excuse. I simply stopped going. The more I think about it, the less sense it makes. The gym always makes me feel better. Whenever I get into these types of funks it takes me a while to do things that are healthy for me. Meditating. Going to the gym. Communicating with my loved ones. Sharing laughs. The difference now is I realize it sooner. It’s been just over a week. I realize what I’m doing. Letting negativity occupy my mind. I try to deflect. Try not to think about it. I can’t help it. The best way to get past it is to move on. Get back to meditating. Get back to the gym. Get back to taking care of my mind. My body. I know I need to do it. Sometimes it’s not enough. It’s a funk. Feel like I’m in a rut. The thing is, I’m confident I’m going to find my way out. Very soon.

I don’t have time to be in a rut. Life is too short to be unhealthy. To ignore my own needs. I have entirely too much to be thankful for to be in a rut. I write three things I’m grateful for in the mornings. It’s part of my morning routine. It can be very simple things. The last thing I wrote about were my new sweatpants. They fit perfectly. I’m grateful for it.

Oftentimes, I overlook many things that I should be more appreciative of. I won’t be in my funk much longer. I already feel it’s past. The night out with my friends. The dinner with my family. The night out with Eliz. The card from my father-in-law. My mother-in-law coming back. There’s been too many great things that have happened for me to stay in a rut. Onwards and upwards. I’ll keep it moving. All the way to the top.

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Author: Mehmet Akcagliyan

I am the Master of my Fate. I am the Captain of my Soul.

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