I can’t pinpoint what it is. I’m thinking about it. What is making me feel this way. I don’t even know if I’m upset, uneasy, stressed, worried, anxious, none of the above or all the above. All I know is, I don’t like how I’m feeling right now. It’s only 8:30 on Sunday. I’ve already been up 2 hours. I took Niko to a park nearby. I meditated. I wrote in my journal. I should feel better.

We sold the house. For a great price. More than we expected to sell for. Another reason I should feel ecstatic. I did at first. Now, I feel as if it’s on to the next thing to worry about. Buying a house. I’m trying to think of it as an exciting opportunity. I’m doing my best to think in terms of Option 2. For whatever reason, I can’t seem to shake this feeling. It started last night. It’s been lingering since.

Maybe it’s because now we have this load of responsibility. We have access to a lot of cash once the sale of the house closes. What to do with all that money? What type of house do we buy? Is the market always going to stay this way? Is there a bubble? Is it going to crash? What kind of mortgage should we get? How much should we put towards a down payment? How much should we put away in a savings account? Should we invest it instead of a savings account? If so, what investments should we make?

Yeah. These questions are unanswered right now. I’m trying not to think about it all. I’m trying to take it step by step. We’d like to put some of the money away for our wedding. Maybe something for an investment property too. It’s just all happening quickly. The house market in Southern Ontario is crazy right now. We feel as though we need to act fast. House prices are rising so quickly it’s hard to keep up. I don’t think anyone alive has seen anything like this here before. I keep asking people. Professionals. People that have been in the industry. Everyone is saying how crazy it is.

I know. Boo hoo Mehmet. You have all this money and you don’t know what to do with it. I’m not asking anyone to feel sorry for me. I understand we are in a great position. However, we need to take full advantage of the position we are in. I don’t want to botch the layup. That’s the part that worries me. I don’t want to look back on this moment and think ‘I should’ve done this’ or ‘I should’ve done that.’

I hate when I hear people talk about their past in that way. The thing is you have those regrets. You made the mistakes. Yet you aren’t doing anything about it now. So, what’s the point of repeating your mistakes? I don’t see myself doing that. Even if I screw this whole thing up. We don’t get the right place. We spend too much. We don’t have enough saved. I won’t regret it and say, ‘What if I did it differently?’ I’ll learn from it. I won’t make the same mistake again. The important thing for me at this very moment is not to make the mistake now.

It’s a lot of money in our possession. Everyone has an opinion about the health of the housing market. Nobody has all the answers. Maybe there is someone out there with the answers. Maybe I should be researching what professionals are saying. You know the professionals that are on business networks. The same guys that say everything is okay and then the financial crash of 2008 happens. Yeah, maybe I should listen to those guys. After all, they care about us. They care about our money. Or they care about themselves. Their own money. I don’t know. I must believe in myself. I must believe that the decisions we are making are the right ones. I’ll do some research right after posting this blog. It’s on my Important Today list.

Speaking of that list, I find I’m not great at prioritizing tasks in the morning. I think doing it the night before is better. This way when I wake up I know exactly what I need to get done. In fact, if I write the list out before bed then I can think about it unconsciously during my sleep. Prepare my mind for the task. I haven’t started to do this yet but I will start tonight.

My supplier from China messaged me. Asked if I have a customs agent because Canada Customs has been very particular about oils coming into the country. What a great time to ask. After I completed the final payment. That’s on my Important Today list too. Search for a customs agent.

I saw my friends yesterday. We went out to brunch together. Yeah, brunch. I love brunch. It’s my favourite type of meal. Breakfast food at any time is a great option in my opinion. I digress. I wanted to discuss my time with them. We were celebrating my friend’s birthday. He also found a new job. A great job at a very desirable location with a big bank. We’re all proud of him. One of my friends is in the midst of moving down to California for a role with a big tech company. Another just paid the final instalment of his down payment for a new build condo overlooking the water. Yet another is searching for his second property. They were congratulating me on the sale of the house. We’re all up to something.

My dad always said the friends you keep is extremely important. I understood the notion from the moment he told me. It was when I was about 8 or 9. You are a product of your environment. Yeah, a cliché. I love the group of friends I have. Everybody is ambitious. We’re all supportive of each other. We help each other with tough situations. Every one of us have specific strengths. As they accomplish more and reach their goals, it makes me work that much harder to reach mine. We’re all competitive. We all want the best for ourselves. The main difference is that none of us think it’s a zero-sum game. We understand, unequivocally, that we can all win. We can all achieve more. We push each other forward with our personal accomplishments.

Look, if you read any of my posts you understand I don’t have all the answers. In fact, I touch on that thoroughly on this post. I didn’t start this blog to tell people how to live their lives. I share my own experiences. I discuss what I think the best practices are. I’m going to start incorporating some advice near the end of my posts. Here goes.

Take the time to look at the group of friends around you. Take the time to look at the environment you are in. This could even be your family. Immediate or extended. Are they happy people? Are they ambitious? Do they have the same goals you have? Are your goals aligned with theirs? Do you feel you are destined for more? Take that time to think about these things. You can outgrow people when you have bigger dreams. It doesn’t mean they can’t come along. They can change their goals to match yours. If they don’t, then maybe it’s better to spend less time with those people.

People around you can be propeller pushing you to bigger and better or they can be the anchor keeping you in the same place, never allowing you to move forward. It’s your choice. It’s always your choice.


Author: Mehmet Akcagliyan

I am the Master of my Fate. I am the Captain of my Soul.

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