House Hunting

I recently had a meeting with someone that I’ve been trying to get in front of for a long time. I’ve tried different things. Emails. Phone calls. Lastly, I tried LinkedIn. I hadn’t heard back for a long time then he replied. The timing was right. I had to be persistent. Then I had to be patient. Either way I didn’t think the meeting would go as well as it did. I’m glad I worked at it. Worked hard at it. The conversation is still in its infancy. It could turn out to be huge. We’ll see where it goes. I’ll keep you all updated.

The other day we put an offer on a house. It’s not easy to get a property. The market has gone crazy. Every house is taking multiple offers. It’s the most expensive silent auction I’ve ever been a part of. It was disappointing when we didn’t get it. Now I think about it and I’m glad we didn’t get it. We rushed it. We saw the house and the same day we put in a bid. We were prepared to go over the budget we set for ourselves. I wasn’t being smart. Eliz said it isn’t a good idea. She said she wanted to do more research, but as I’ve mentioned before I’m emotional. I really liked the house. I wanted it. Figured we can’t lose in this market anyway so why not? It could’ve been a big mistake.

It’s the first time I’m part of the house buying process. It’s all a part of growing up. I will do more research.

This whole house search has really been messing with my routine. It’s creating stress. I’ve started doing the Stress Pack within Headspace. We have access to all this cash. We want to make the most of it. The decision we make is very important. The thing is, when we accomplish the goals we have set for ourselves, this decision won’t seem so important. I mean that in the financial sense. We are still choosing a place that will be our first home together. That’s always going to be important.

I don’t really know what to write about. I’m all over the place right now. That’s how I have been feeling the past few weeks. I can’t wait to be in a place that is ours. Where I can set my routine again.

At the same time, I think about the fact that I’m changing cities. Moving away from my friends. My parents said they will end up in the same city as me so I’m not worried about that. I think about the friends I have. The gym I go to. The same one I’ve been going to for the past 8 years. Holy crap. Has it been 8 years?

Well that’s all going to change. I won’t be playing basketball there anymore. I’m moving to a different city. My decisions are changing based on what is best, not for me, rather for my family. My fiancé, my puppy, my future children. My parents had to make sacrifices. Major sacrifices. They didn’t just move to another city.  They moved to another country. They didn’t know the language. They didn’t have anyone they were close with. The change I’m making pales in comparison. As soon as I think about that I realize how good I have it.

Yesterday, I spoke to my mom. I asked her what her goals are. What she looks forward to. She said she’s done what she set out to do. She’s giving my sister and me everything she didn’t have. A Canadian passport that grants me access to any country I want to visit. The freedom to choose the religion I want to practice without ridicule. The ability to go to one of the best universities in the world. I’m able to do this because of their sacrifices. She said she is fulfilled. She sees how happy I am with Eliz. She sees how happy my sister is with her husband. She has a grandchild on the way. She’s happy.

As I get older I realize how hard it is to be older.

I think about how easy it is to be a kid. No bills to pay. No down payment to worry about. No groceries to buy. Electricity is magically on. We live in a home. There’s food on the table. As I get older I appreciate the sacrifices my parents made. I understand their struggle a little bit better. Although, I don’t think I’ll ever have to go through anything as nearly as hard as they did. That’s all thanks to them.

It’s a fine line. We should be appreciative of our parents. I am very appreciative. At the same time, I am at the age that I must look after my future family. I’m grateful that my parents and in-laws all understand this. They are very supportive of it. They do everything they can to help.

It isn’t like that for some of my friends. Their parents still have a hold over them. Maybe it was like that for me to. Maybe it still is like that but I don’t see it that way. Sometimes it’s easier to see it when viewing from the outside. As I said, I don’t think it is like that for me.

We all want to make our parents proud. We all want to do what’s in their best interest as well as ours. I mentioned that I would end my blogs with a bit of advice.

At some point, we must realize that we should live our lives. We must make decisions that we can live with. Sometimes this will go against what our parents want. That’s hard. I’m no expert at it. However, as I keep saying, I’m working towards happiness. How can we be happy if the decisions we make are skewed? The influence our parents have on our lives can be negative at times. Of course, they want the best for us. It’s just sometimes they may not know what that is as well as we do. We must make the decisions we can live with. The decisions that we are proud we made when laying on the bed taking our last breathes.

 

My advice isn’t to defy your parents. I’m simply trying to say sometimes we want to do something or be with someone but our parents don’t approve. In those instances, ask yourself what is the most important thing. Your happiness or theirs? Ideally, everyone would be happy. Sometimes that isn’t the case. Years from now you need to be able to look in the mirror and say you did it your way. You did what was best for you at that moment. That’s how we live. That’s how we grow.

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Author: Mehmet Akcagliyan

I am the Master of my Fate. I am the Captain of my Soul.

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