Love the Struggle

Learn to love the struggle. Learn to love the work.

That’s what I kept telling myself as I was tearing out the drywall on our house. We’re renovating the place right now and it isn’t easy. There is some hard work to be done. Even though my dad and father-in-law are very handy we will still need to bring in a few professionals to handle some of the more critical work. That will cost money. Appliances will cost money. New floors, new lighting, new bathroom, new kitchen, it will all cost money.

I could sit around and stress about it. I did that for part of today. The thing is, when you are tearing away drywall and punching holes in the walls you tend to let some of that frustration and stress go. I’m not too worried about the cost of the renovations. Eliz has Continue reading “Love the Struggle”

Advertisements

Transform

We have the power to completely reinvent ourselves. The mind is more capable than we give it credit for.

So many things on my mind. I’ve had many moments in the past few days where I thought this would be great to include in the blog. One of the instances is louder in my mind than any other right now.

I never have good opening lines. It takes me time to warm up while I’m writing. To get into the mood of writing. I feel my posts end well. I love with finishing lines. The conclusion should be strong.

I wanted to start this post in a certain way but the pressure I’m putting on myself isn’t allowing me to write. I’m removing that pressure and instead simply going to start typing. Here goes.

The other night we were sitting around the dinner table. Another one of those nights where we sat at the dinner table for 3-4 hours. Eliz is out of town with her mom. We invited her dad over for dinner. Had a few drinks and a great meal. Then as we started to talk one story my mom told was eye opening.

Here’s something I never really thought about. My cousins came here when they were younger than I was. One was born in Canada. The other was 2 and the oldest was 5 or 6. Schools sometimes have “Grandparents’ Days.” It’s exactly as it sounds. A day to invite your grandparents into school with you. Refugee kids usually don’t Continue reading “Transform”

Confidence

I never loiter anymore. It used to be one of my favourite past times. I don’t think I knew it at the time. I simply liked hanging out with my friends. It didn’t really matter where we are. I used to loiter on the front porch with friends in Brooklyn. I did it at parks in Hamilton. I would always hang out with friends outside the gym at university. This could go on for hours and oftentimes, it did.

I recall one time an acquaintance of mine asked if we had nothing better to do because we were just standing around “Wasting time.” I didn’t see it that way. Hanging out with friends, making jokes, talking about whatever, was not a waste of time in my opinion.

I miss it. Nowadays, all my friends are busy. Even though some of us live close to each other we see each other less and less. There are times we see each other at the gym but those are instances when we go to workout or play basketball. Since we are all working and have other commitments and responsibilities, we don’t just run into each other near the cafeteria and hang out for a few hours. We have to make time now.

It’s not always easy to make the time. Luckily, the past few days I was able to hang out with my two close friends individually. I had amazing conversations with both of them. I’m glad we were able to make time to talk. At the end of the one conversation my friend said Continue reading “Confidence”

Stop Pushing

I push people. Everyone around me. I’m always trying to be encouraging and try to push people to start their own businesses. I push them to read more books. I push them to go after their goals. I push them to realize their own potential.

What right do I have? Who am I do push people around me to do these things when I’ve yet to accomplish anything?

As much as I want these things for myself I want these things for my family and friends too. I used to think the best way to get people to realize they can do more is by telling them. How short-sighted of me.

Why would they listen to me? I wasn’t even listening to me. I’d tell myself to read more books. I’d tell myself to start my own business. I’d tell myself to push for more at my job. Then I would watch hours upon hours of sports. I didn’t do any of those things. This went on for nearly two years.

I’m in it now. I’m trying to do all the above. Still I find myself telling my loved ones that they can do it too. They can read more. They can be more. I’m starting to realize it’s the wrong way to go about it.

Everyone has their own thoughts. Everyone has their own challenges. If I deal with mine differently than them, what makes me right? If something works for me, it doesn’t mean it’s going to work for anyone else. It may work for others but I don’t have the right to push people if they aren’t ready.

I realize this now. I have the type of personality where if my loved ones do well I’m extremely happy. If they aren’t feeling great my mood will change according to theirs. I’ve mentioned I’m an emotional person. This emotional roller coaster where I’m not the captain isn’t the best way to live.

Of course, my financee’s mood is going to affect me. Of course, my sister’s mood is going to affect me. My friends’ mood will affect me. The difference is how I react to it. I could do a better job of listening instead of reacting. I always have suggestions and I think I can solve everyone’s problems. I understand now that it comes off as pushy. If they aren’t ready to make those changes why do I think I can continue to push them?

I can only control what I can control. Lately, I’ve been concentrating on myself. I see or hear something and I think about my reaction to it. I think about what I can do to make the situation better. It’s easy to suggest something. The harder part is taking action.

Stop talking the talk. Start walking the walk.

That’s where I am now, I hope. Every day, slowly but surely, walking towards a better version of myself. As I push to make myself better my hope is that my loved ones will see my journey and realize they can do it too. The difference now is I am taking the steps. I am walking the walk.

Every time I put out one of these blog posts I feel vulnerable. After all, these are some of my deepest thoughts. I’m putting it out for everyone to see. I don’t care what strangers may think, but not many strangers are reading this right now. It’s my friends and family that are reading it. I’m okay with being vulnerable in front of them now. I never used to be.

What I’m already realizing is a change in my family and friends. We can have deeper conversations now. We can be more supportive of each other. Maybe they’re all going through the same things. After all, we’re all about the same age, 25 or so. All facing the similar challenges. We’re all thinking about how we can advance in our careers. We’re all thinking about how we can make our parents proud. How we can be a good partner. How we can start our own business.

The greatest change that I’ve realized is in one of my closest friends.

I used to write a blog a few years ago and I was fake. I used to talk about technology. I used to do it with the idea that I can gather a following and make more sales for Bazinga. He would troll every post. I look back on it now and I don’t blame him. He knows the real Mehmet and the person writing those posts wasn’t the real me.

Now, I think, he is a fan of my posts. He messages me after he reads the blog. He has suggestions. He helps me proofread. He posts genuine comments. What was the difference?

First, I believe I’m being real in these posts.

More importantly, I feel vulnerable in these posts. It may be coming across in the way I write. Since I’ve become more and more comfortable with this vulnerability my friends have realized it. Especially the one that was most critical when I wasn’t sincere.

My focus has changed. Lead by example. Another cliché. Yet again, it’s so true. If I continually strive towards my goals. If I continually do everything I can to be a genuine friend. Then, one day, I may become an inspiration to my loved ones to begin striving for their goals. I may not be there yet, but that’s quite alright. With time, my hope is that I will get to that stage.

I’ll always be there for my family and friends. Their happiness brings me joy. Their sadness brings me plight. I’m trying to grow myself to new heights. One of my greatest hopes is that my loved ones see my journey and have the realization that they can do it too. After all, if I can do it, why can’t they? If others can do it, why can’t I? Why not me? Why not us?

Option 2

I look forward to writing these blogs. I think about it throughout the day. What I will discuss. What will stick out most that happened throughout the day.

Today, I discussed the blog with my friends. They said it’s refreshing to read about someone’s journey, while they are still in it. At least that’s what I took from the conversation.

I told Eliz yesterday, this is the good old days we’ll look back on. A lot of things are changing in our lives. It’s extremely important to stop and appreciate it.

I watched The Office series and on the last episode one character says, “I wish you know when you’re in the good old days before they’re gone.”, or something along those lines.  It’s a powerful quote. I’m a futuristic person. I think about my future and what I want out of life. Sometimes this can be a hindrance.

Oftentimes, I forget to appreciate the daily grind. J. Cole is my favourite artist and he said, “There’s beauty in the struggle.”

I’m starting to understand these quotes more clearly.

The other night, I placed my first large order for beard oil to sell on Amazon and my online store, Invictus Beard. I felt an incredible rush when I clicked the button to purchase the order.

I don’t know what the outcome will be but it sure felt good to click that button. It felt good to Continue reading “Option 2”