Excuses

This has been one of those times where I’ve started the blog and deleted everything I’ve writing a few times. This time, whatever hits the page is staying on.

It’s easier to write when I write every day. Only a few things would have happened that I really want to write about and I write about it. Now, it’s hard because it’s been so long since I’ve written something. Eliz came back. She booked nearly everything for the wedding. We will decide on some things together but that’s about it. If everything goes according to plan we should have the house this week. I’m looking forward to it but I’m also anxious. It’s a lot to think about. We went to visit it and there is a lot of work to be done. Things I never even thought about. For instance, I never had to cut grass before because I always lived in a condo. That’s one of the upsides of living in a condo.

Today was hard for me. I’m trying to list my products on Amazon and I’ve been struggling. Everything I try hasn’t worked. Now I need to wait again for approval before I can get the product listed. It feels like it’s taking forever. I may just be impatient. Maybe I’m just mad at myself for those nights that I procrastinated. Although, I don’t think that’s what it was. I don’t think I was procrastinating. Maybe I wasn’t prioritizing it ahead of everything else. I wanted to write. I wanted to spend time with family. I wanted to see friends. I wanted to sleep. Spent most of today on it and I don’t feel like I truly accomplished anything. It’s an overpowering feeling.

It would’ve have been nice to be able to say, at least I finished the listing, but I wasn’t able to complete it. I can only control what I can control. I’ve been sitting here like an upset, grumpy old man because of things I can’t control. I hate when I do that. Then I get more upset because I see that I’m acting that way and wishing I wasn’t. Then when I can’t change it right away I get even more frustrated. It’s a vicious cycle. All the while it’s affecting people’s moods around me.

I feel the need to mention a conversation I had with one of Eliz’s cousins few days ago. We went out to grab a beer and had a great conversation about business, ambition, relationships,